Cycles of Wellness

We may feel like we are revolving, always ending up where we began, but we are actually evolving, returning to a new base with an upleveled being

Recap: circa 2016, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. I began using Levothyroxine and saw a little improvement in my energy levels, a small amount of weight loss of the 50 lbs I had suddenly gained despite being active and fit, and a little increase in some various other symptoms. Around 2018, I began to understand that this new diagnosis ignored my entire life of auto-immune issues and over-toxicity and began to understand how my body had been battered and abused from every angle: physical abuse, malnutrition, mental abuse, emotional abuse, and drug abuse… these abuses came from myself, from my upbringing, from education systems, from media, from our society in general — from every angle.

We are all, in fact, swimming in a sea of toxicity at every level of being.

On a path of radical discovery, literally, I returned to the root and found the keys of my lifelong unwellness. Though I had a new level of unwellness expressing as Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, I had almost been diagnosed with general Auto Immune Disease, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Ulcerative Colitis, and more, over the course of more than 30 years.

At the root of it all lay a puzzle of bizarre proportions. I felt inspired to find the root cause, support my body to heal itself, and begin to detox from a life of disgusting chemicals and horrors.

Detoxing was not new to me. I had done cleansing, caloric restriction, fasting, even colonic hydrotherapy, in the past. But I had done all those things as ways to lose weight or otherwise support what I thought was already a pretty decent level of wellness. I had never gone full-in, trying to literally save my own life.

By 2021, I was sinking deep into daily lethargy, physical pain, constant multi-day flare-ups that kept me from functioning, and profound brain-fog the likes of which would render me dumb and mute for days, incapable of expressing myself. It suffices to say, this was all very emotionally challenging, to say the least.

To reclaim my life, since doctors literally told me that there was nothing they could do for me and, literally exactly word-for-word told me I would feel worse and worse until my death, I began to go hard and deep.

By the end of 2023, as you can see if you go back through my health posts, I had instituted:

• Daily caloric restriction and fasting, sometimes upwards of 72 hours but never less than 16 hours a day

• Daily infrared sauna

• Daily grounding and sunlight therapy

• Daily coffee enemas

• Massive mineral supplementation

• Extensive vitamin supplementation

• Fresh juicing

• Various dietary styles ranging from the Auto-Immune Protocol (a very helpful option!) to Fatty Keto to Keto-Biotic to Wahl’s Protocol — all of them no gluten and most of them no dairy, as well as other restrictions and macro ratios

• Daily cold showers

• Daily mineral soaks

• Working at resistance and weight training at least three times a week and walking many miles as many days as possible

• Hormonal supplementation

• AND MORE

It was not even exhausting. It was invigorating. I saw toxins leave my body like I would never describe to anyone who wasn’t deeply invested, I saw my eyes brighten to a color I don’t know that they’ve had since I was a young child, I saw my entire system move into a level of what I want to call flow — as in lymphatic and blood circulation flow — that I’ve literally never had, and I had people tell me I aged in reverse, left and right.

But, by January of this year, 2024, it was exhausting. Every morning, I drank specific tonics and prepared certain foods and spent hours in sauna, grounding, sunning, and enema world. I began to even return to some of my old symptoms of 2021 and, worse, 2017. I felt like I was losing progress and it terrified me. I never wanted to go back. I couldn’t go back.

I kept receiving the message that I had accomplished my goals, healed from what would have likely been diagnosed as a few different types of cancer, and healed my liver from severe heavy metal and toxin poisoning that had been accumulating over an even-more-toxic-than-usual lifetime.

But, if I stopped, would I still feel good? Which modalities was I supposed to stop and which was I supposed to keep?

I kept going, even though the message was to stop, because I wasn’t sure what to let go of and what to hold on to.

Until the message came through various trusted people who knew exactly my goals, my blood test results, my heart, and my Soul to STOP…

…all of it.

Everything.

Stop cold showering, stop fasting, stop eating restrictive diets, stop doing coffee enemas, stop doing daily saunas, stop daily soaks… Stop everything that was outside the “normal” health routines of a “normal” person.

So I did.

And it was actually really, really difficult to trust that my body would not revert to horror, dump me on the couch more often than not, and swell up every day, filled with pain and sorrow.

But it didn’t.

I now only do a coffee enema here and there, if I feel specifically guided to do so. I might sauna once or twice a week. I take warm showers. I eat three times every day, in about a 10 hour window. I haven’t soaked for over a month. I let go of the tonics and tinctures and supplements, even.

A few months into doing almost nothing but normal things, my skin is still healthy. My hair is still not falling out. My eyes are still bright. I have even more energy than I did before… I am still thriving.

I made a full cycle, deep into intense self care and self love, and I healed on a level not many will attempt, and then I returned to a base level of normalcy.

And it feels good.

If you’re starting a health journey, go as deep as you’re guided to do so. Go as long as you’re guided to do so. And then, be brave and let go of what helped you to heal, when you are guided to do so.

We don’t stay the same forever, we grow and change. We are meant to adjust to each stage and series of needs, as they come up, and continue rising through the cycles, always evolving, forever.

Love yourself enough to pick up what serves you and then, when the time is right, love yourself enough to put it down again.

The right voices and the right supports will be there when you need them, especially to overcome the voices of those who have no idea what you’re dealing with or how best to deal with it.

Your health is worth everything and, sometimes, it is nothing that is everything.

May you feel good, now and always!