Stoicism is apparently the ultimate toxic masculinity, right? Isn’t that what you were taught? I was taught that men are crushed under the philosophy of Stoicism, which is boiled down to the reductive lie that to be stoic, one must neither FEEL nor EXPRESS emotion.
Why is it, then, that NONE of the tenets of Stoicism recommend not feeling or expressing emotion? Why is it that some of them encourage you to understand the balance of everything in the universe as interconnected? Why does Stoicism urge you to know your passion and purpose and pursue it relentlessly?
We were lied to about what it is to be stoic because it benefits the Psychopath Class, the Parasite Class, the Predator Class.
That’s all it really boils down to: they want you broken, codependent, without strong purpose or passion, without healthy relationships, and sitting constantly in victim mentality.
You are easy to control, when you are battered and broken in these ways.
The central tenets of Stoicism have made a comeback because people are YEARNING for a return to wellness. Men especially are BEGGING to be in alignment with a purpose and are DYING to let their passion be at work in themselves and the world. And Stoicism can give what we’ve lost as a society back to us.
The Seven Tenets of Stoicism as outline by famous stoic, Ryan Holiday, are fucking amazing:
Remember Death — death meditations exist in every culture, religion, and ancient tradition! Remembering that your death is inevitable helps you to come to peace and release attachment to the past and future while enjoying what you have NOW. Remembering your death keeps you free from control mechanisms cast upon you that require your fear to function. Avoid the dark magician’s black spellcasting, go the way of the warrior, follow the path before you KNOWING that you will die, and so will everyone else. This one understanding has the power to free you completely…
Love your Fate — It is great to look ahead and aim for what you would like to acquire or to plan for the future you intend to create, but it’s got nothing on being happy where you’re at! Nothing is promised, nothing is guaranteed. If you cannot look around you and count your blessings, you will always live in the past or future and you will never find contentment. Find it where you are!
Plan Ahead, Knowing the Worst May Come — Don’t be an ignorant person who wanders aimlessly into any trap or trouble. The world is full of conniving psychopaths who would love to take all your energy, wealth, health, and happiness and destroy them or use them for themselves. The plots are bigger and badder than ever. See the possible currents evil may create and plan what you can to keep yourself safe as possible. Safety isn’t always possible and that’s ok. You cannot control the future or what these people will do, and that’s ok. You CAN aim to create a path that keeps you as comfortable and well-oriented as possible.
The Universe is Mutually Interdependent — this is almost exactly the doctrine of codependent arising in Buddhism! Everything that exists because everything exists! Because one atom spins in the universe, every butterfly, every white hole, every cosmic draft, every drop of water also exists! All things, all people, all places are connected and YOU affect ALL of them…take care, then, to make sure you respect your affect on the world.
Serve the Highest Good — No matter which situation you find yourself, you can serve the highest good. Are you in a place where everyone is already happy and healthy? Great, keep assisting in creating the best self and surroundings you can. Are you locked in a quarantine camp because psychos decided that was somehow lawful and right? Ok, well then help make it an experience that benefits you and others, somehow. Even those in solitary confinement for decades have managed to create a spiritual experience for themselves, have managed to uplift their knowledge and learning, and have created something positive out of even that which is most negative. Always serve the highest good: the Taoists, Buddhists, and Christians would agree!
The Obstacle is the Way — The thing that bothers you shows you where your growth can occur. The person who pisses you off reminds you of your own failures. The situation that seems oppressive and horrible is pushing you to higher levels of greatness in yourself. No one ever grew or accomplished anything amazing without facing adversity and challenge. We cannot build ever more brightness without some darkness standing in the way for us to smash through. Go smashing!
Ego is the Enemy — When you’re self-absorbed, you cannot see the tiny caterpillar wandering by, bringing you a message of transformation. When you’re focused on what you are angry or depressed about, you are less able to see that the entire universe exists in perfect balance. When you seek only for you, you begin to objectify others and see them as inhuman blockages to what you want…you begin to lose your own humanity and fall further and further into the exact psychopathy you decry. Find value in releasing your attachments to your idea of yourself and who you are and instead opening your view to a universal level of being that is beyond you.
If each of us remembered and lived by these tenets every day, the world would be SAVED.
There would be no victims left.
There would be no destructive ideologies left.
People would acknowledge their interconnection and work to increase the overall good in the world, for one another and for themselves.
And this same list could be a list of Taoist tenets. It could be a list of Buddhist teachings. It contains the same teachings at the core of Essenic Christianity and True Gnosticism. The tenets of Stoicism seem like a rewriting of the same tenets that have existed in every major religion and a retelling of the words that have come from every major spiritual teacher, all throughout time.
The idea that we cannot feel or express emotions is not a Stoic tenet. On the contrary, the lack of forcing your emotional state upon others is something that automatically emerges from a healthy inner balance — and a healthy inner balance is something that can grow from the adoption of Stoicism.
When we are healthy, we do not cast our emotions upon others, especially not those who are not exceptionally close to us, emotionally. We definitely don’t post our whining on Facebook and Twitter. When we are grounded and well-balanced, we do not react mindlessly because of emotional trauma and baggage. When we are healthy and well, we do not struggle to acknowledge, sit with, and release our emotions. Instead, we begin taking the messages and teachings our emotions bring us, reflecting and pivoting as needed, and we move forward.
We would release instantly the need for a god-like or nanny government if we were healthy and well in every way. We would obliterate the urge to become more narcissistic and psychopathic by seeing every one else as the cause of our problems. We would take responsibility for what we can do, re-ignite our passions and purposes, and thrive in the empowered state of being that Stoicism, Taoism, Buddhism, Gnosticism, Christianity and more have always been trying to instill within us.
Grab the teachings and run with them, you’ll only create the best you that could ever exist. You’ll only save the world.
I heard a great quote the other day that the world is not composed of atoms, it's composed of narratives. What is the truest story, that is the question. How can a fake narrative really be real?
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing it, doesn't go away." -Philip K. Dick
I would add: seek only enough.